Does My Cha Cha Slide Embarrass You?
In which I invent a new pop music genre name - SWADs (Songs With A Dance) And ask why are we so embarrassed by our love for the songs we dance to at weddings?
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A few years ago across South America there was a great TV commercial for a mobile phone brand, Claro, that mocked the idea of the SWAD - Song With A Dance. The commercial called El Tema del Verano showed people on beaches and by pools all line dancing to the same song with hip rolls, punches and some hands in the air! If you have ever been on holiday to a beachside resort or if you’ve been to a wedding then you will probably have been exposed to a SWAD. There are usually 16 -32 bars of movements needed to learn the dance wish are then repeated ad nauseam until the song ends or you fall over!
The SWAD has a long tradition - think of the Charleston, the Lambeth Walk and even the Hokey Cokey! In the UK in the early 80s we experienced the weird phenomenon of Oops Up Side Your Head by the Gap Band that involved everybody in a club sitting on the floor in lines with their legs around the person in front as if they were in an imaginary rowing completion (see below).
There was, of course, the enormous YMCA which was number one in SEVENTEEN countries and sold 12 million copies. YMCA doesn’t have a proper set of steps for the verse but when you get to the chorus everyone’s arms are making those shapes! Hundreds of millions of people have had a great time dancing to the YMCA, the Cha Cha Slide (UK Number One) and Cupid Shuffle ( 5 million copies sold in the USA!)
The bests SWADs will enSlave you to their Rhythm. Hearing the songs triggers an instinctive reaction from the sun dried part of your brain that will set you twitching, thrusting and grinning like an ecstasy fuelled raver or a kid who has eaten ALL the chocolate! The SWAD will always have a special place in your heart. It will become your dirty and very guilty musical secret.
But if you look on any ‘Best Ever Songs’ lists there are no SWADs - which, logically, makes no sense because so many people have bought these records.
Rolling Stone has some great songs in its top 500 with Aretha Franklin’s Respect at the top of the tree, followed by Public Enemy’s Fight The Power and Sam Cooke’s A Changed is Gonna Come’ But there are no SWADs. Rolling Stone’s list is compiled by 2500 industry professionals, writers and artists - but no actual members of the music buying public or maybe nobody that has ever been invited to a wedding!
In contrast to Rolling Stone’s self perceived credibility is British radio station Smooth. The national station is aimed at over 40s and every year broadcasts its listeners’ all time Top 500 favourite songs. In the 2023 edition, George Michael is at number one with Careless Whisper, Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody is at number two and George Michael is also at number three with Different Corner. Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson and Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel round out the top five.
There was no place in the Top 500 for the Macarena, YMCA or Cha Cha Slide.
Could it be that when it comes to voting we are too embarrassed to admit that every time we hear the Macarena it makes us smile or do we feel that Bohemian Rhapsody is somehow more worthy? Globally the Macarena sold 11 MILLION PHYSICAL COPIES which is five times as many as Aretha’s Respect. And remember these numbers are from the days when you had to go to a record store and publicly purchase a physical copy of a record if you wanted to listen to it at home. Which means that 11 million people were not embarrassed to buy a vinyl copy of La Macarena to take home and listen to while baking their sourdough.
So why this disconnect between the songs we love (and purchase) and the songs we SAY we love? My first thought was that, perhaps, it was a seasonal thing. The same way that White Christmas is at the top of every playlist in December but nobody is listening to it in July. Perhaps Macarena is TOO summery and evokes a memory of a very specific week or two. But that does not explain YMCA or Cupid Shuffle being played all year long by every function DJ ever! Whether it’s December, April or August you can get yourself clean at the YMCA! And in the Smooth Top 500 there are some great party songs including Get Down On It, Dancing Queen, and Fame (Irene Cara not David Bowie!) Rolling Stone’s list features Hey Ya and Crazy In Love in the top 20 and Daddy Yankee’s Gasoline at number 50 but no SWADs anywhere!
I think that we love SWADs in the moment and momentarily. Our love for these songs is based on specific moments. Whereas, we build deeper relationships with the songs that accompany our every day experiences, our journey to work, or our first dates. There is research into pop music that suggests that sad and melancholic songs make us feel better - they certainly sell more! Bohemian Rhapsody, Careless Whisper and the best selling song of all time, White Christmas, all have a sense of melancholia. The songs’ singers are either nostalgic, heartbroken or about to be executed for murdering someone. In the Smooth Top 500, the first uptempo song is at number nine and is Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean which has a dark subject matter based on a true story of an obsessed and disturbed fan. This is followed at ten by the masters of melancholy: Abba looking back to a carefree teenage time on Dancing Queen with more than a hint of nostalgia.
The SWADs that we love are not written to express melancholy, sadness or reflection. They are constructed to create pure pleasure on a basic level and to make us get up and share a communal moment in movement. They are also songs that look forward rather than back with no sense of guilt, nostalgia or sadness. YMCA is not yearning for a time when young men could go to a place to ‘have fun’ it is telling young men to go there now and get some. The only time the song goes into the past tense it is when the singer is assuring you that he was “once in your shoes” and broke out of his bad situation by going to the YMCA where he “could hang out with all the boys” - it’s a preacher’s pitch!
Cha Cha Slide is even more direct and just gives us instructions on how to have a good time! And for anyone who doesn’t speak Spanish Macarena is just about a girl who likes to dance and have fun - although admittedly if you understand the original lyrics you might pick up more about Macarena’s alleged threesome with her fiancé’s friends!
It is this sense of being in the now that makes the songs pleasurable but meaningless. There is no emotion in the song to catch hold of, only a memory of a group action which means that the song does not live for you the individual. Instead it only comes to life when you are in a group - nobody does the Cha Cha Slide alone! When we vote for our favourite songs we are voting for something personal from our own emotional memory. Even if we meet our life partner while dancing to a SWAD, the romance happened when the music changed and it is THAT song, the one that was played afterwards, that gives us the shivers!
SWADs are an essential part of pop music in every language and country. They serve to mark moments in culture and, despite their apparent disposability, are remarkably long lasting. I love the way that SWADs inspire people to not only learn a dance but to then joyfully get up on and just revel in the sheer pleasure of dancing with other people.
Lyrically SWADs might never compete with lines like “Guilty feet have got no rhythm” and they may never be as musically sophisticated as Bohemian Rhapsody but as long as dancing remains lawful there will be Songs With A Dance to liven up every poolside and wedding party.
In today’s polarised and ever more dangerous world the opportunity to bring people together is more vital than ever. Could we see the Cha Cha Slide save the world? Or at least achieve a placing in the Rolling Stone Top 500 greatest songs ever!
FOOTNOTE:
I have seen first hand how much people enjoy SWADS. I worked on cruise ships for around 20 years from the mid-nineties and, I reckon that I have learnt, taught and danced at least 50 SWADs. Reflecting on my experience while writing this article has made me realise that I might be an unexpected expert in the subject!